Child of mine

Baby,

We don't have a name for you yet. We don't know if you are a boy or girl- so that might be making it a little harder. But truth be told, we don't have a boy name or a girl name and I'm not so sure we would, even if we already knew what you are. Sometimes we call you Baby B2. Other times you are our Shamrock Shake since your due-date is close to St. Patrick's Day. I want you to know that we are obsessing over names. Trying to figure out who you are. So much so that I've returned all the baby name books to the library in a fit of frustration. I've even asked friends for input. So with just a few weeks to go, I want to ask you, "Who are you?" and "Will you please help us pick out your name?" Soon.

You see, I'm so anxious and excited to meet you. Your Daddy and Big Brother are too. But I'm starting to feel it. Way down deep in my soul. I can't wait to labor because that means I will finally get to hold you. And I desperately want you on the outside of me. In part because I am so uncomfortable now but mostly because the thought of looking in your eyes, smelling you, and snuggling you tight is overwhelming!

You are already different than Griffin. You rub me from the inside. And you like to dance and wiggle A LOT at night. I love feeling you move and rubbing my big belly. As crazy as this sounds, I even love it when friends are brave enough to rub you back and say hi!

I don't know what it feels like to be a second born...both your father and I are first borns. I worry so much that you will feel left out or less special because you came second and I want you to know nothing could be farther from the truth. True, you aren't getting your own room and we're not repainting but that's because we want you and Griffin to always be close- even from day one. And we like the paint job in your room! And I haven't blogged/ written weekly through your pregnancy like I did with Griffin's. But that wasn't because I wasn't thinking about you. I was. ALL day, every day. It's because I was chasing your brother around, cleaning the house, working, or doing a million other things.

I want you to know, deep down in your soul, that you were wanted, desired, and prayed for. For a LONG time. The minute your brother was born I knew I wanted you. I'm serious. One of my first thoughts after seeing Griffin was, I can't wait to do this again. I want another child. And I've been praying for you ever since that day. You took a lot longer than I had hoped and prayed for but God has been so good. His timing is perfect and I am so grateful for it. YOU are the answer to my prayers! And I love you already. So. So. Much.

Your Daddy is getting pretty excited too! It really is different the second time around. This time we both know, on such a deeper level, what to expect- and it's mind blowing!! The love you have for your child is impossible to explain- I pray someday you have a child or children of your own so you can truly understand just how much we love you.

Even your big brother is excited to meet you. Even though I don't think he really knows what's about to happen. He likes to rub you and talk to you, give you hugs and kisses, and he tells me all the time, "I love the baby. I like the baby." Sometimes he's not too excited and will tell me to, "put the baby away", which just means he wants me to pull my shirt down so he doesn't 'see' you. We ask him all the time if you are a 'girl baby/sister' or a 'boy baby/brother', Griffin just looks at us like we're crazy and says, "No. It's just a baby."

My hope and prayer is to raise you as friends regardless of your gender. I want us to be a real and true family. One that loves each other, and even likes each other! Speaking of family, your "real" family is so awesome and full of love for you too! All over the United States they are anticipating your arrival! And your "church" family is pretty cool too! You don't know it yet but they are in our lives because God put them there and it just means we are surrounded by even more love! And the friends you already have- oh man, you are going to just love the people that love us! I know I'm using a lot of explanation marks but it's true, we are incredibly blessed in the family and friends department- God has lavishly blessed us with the people in our lives.

We just cleared the 35 week mark Baby. The beginning is near! You are already our precious child, a gift from above treasure. I love you and can't wait to meet you!

~Mommy