a cousin for Baby B!

Baby B is going to have a cousin in June 2011...congrats to Matt and Janae!!!

36 weeks (part 2)

Henry in the forefront, Bailey in the background.

A couple of other really big things happened this week...we got a new puppy! It was completely out of the blue but something we've been hoping for and thinking about ever since Maggie moved away. (Maggie was a sweet Silky Terrier who's "mommy" rented one of our spare rooms for awhile.) Henry is a 6 month old Havanese who's owners couldn't take him with them in their new apartment and thanks to the networking of friends on facebook, we ended up with him!Bailey and Henry are practically identical and working on getting to know each other. Bailey isn't so sure he wants a new pack member...hopefully after we get Henry neutered Bailey will like him a little bit more! We're hoping they become close friends like Bailey and Maggie were.

We miss Maggie

I had another shower this weekend with my church family. It was lots of fun and if you read 36 weeks part 1, you'll know just how ovewhelmed with blessings I'm feeling. The BEST part of the day was when our friend Rachel told us some exciting news by hopping in our picture!!! It's hard to tell but we're all smiling, laughing, and crying...including the photographer Tracy!

Rachel- 12 weeks; Beka and Baby Boy Miller-28 weeks; Shannon and Carson- 29 weeks; Sarah and Baby B 36 weeks; Jamie and Baby Bella- 5 weeks.

Lastly and sadly, Ryan's parents had to put Missy down. She was Grandma Barci's poodle that came with her from Alaska when Grandma broke her hip almost five years ago. She lived a very long (15 years) life and was well loved. Kidney failure and old age finally won out. It's always hard to lose a pet, even when you know its time.

36 weeks! NINE months! (part 1)

WoW! Now I'm at that stage where I'm ready to be done being pregnant, overly excited to meet this little person, and slightly terrified about what's headed my way anyday now:) And completely overwhelmed with emotion. I'm pretty good at turning my emotions off when the situation calls for it. The whole time we planned and prepared for my sister's wedding, I just pushed the emotions away, even during the ceremony I was able to hold it together...and then came the Father-daughter dance to the song "I loved her first" by Heartland (http://heartlandband.com/). I completely lost it. Uncontrollable tears and emotions, it didn't help that I was 21 weeks pregnant and we chose not to find out the gender. So all I could think about was 1) that was my baby sister and my daddy dancing on her wedding day and how happy/excited/sad I was and 2) someday it could be Ryan and our daughter dancing at her wedding.

Today is the day I'm losing it over Baby B:)! Up until this day I feel like I've put off getting too emotionally invested. It's scary...the more you love the more you can be hurt. Why today? For a couple of reasons. First, both my baby showers are over. I really don't like being the center of attention and opening presents in front of a group of people just staring at you. Not my favorite thing...so its easier for me if I just turn off the emotions and get through it. That's not to say I'm not grateful and don't feel loved, its just the way I cope and keep from getting overwhelmed. So tonight I sat down and actually read the cards that came with the gifts. And I am left feeling completely and utterly unworthy of such love and support. God is so good and has blessed my life with such an amazing circle of women who have so graciously loved me through some serious personal growth and are just as excited to welcome and love Baby B. I don't even know where to begin to thank everyone and God. I think my biggest hope is to pass the blessings along- how can you not love others lavishly when God has so lavishly blessed you?!

Secondly, today and tonight I have been reminded that Baby B is not mine to keep. That God gives us our children in his timing and for his timing. I spoke with a MOPS mom today who patiently waited 9 years between her two sons and relied on the verse 1 Samuel 1:27 "I prayed for this child, and the LORD has granted me what I asked of him". Two emotional prayer requests today (also at MOPS) got me thinking, one for a pair of sisters-in-laws who were in a car accident together. One 36 weeks pregnant, is okay. One 8 weeks pregnant has a fractured spine...and they can't perform surgery for fear of anesthesia harming the baby...this family has a long road ahead of them to protect both lives. The second prayer request I didn't know much about but was directed to facebook for details. This family's son was born via c-section early because of brain damage. So far he has proven doctor's wrong and lived 6 days! Baby Carson's parents, sister and family members are gratefully and prayerfully living and loving day by day. (For more information and updates, Team Carson has a facebook page: http://www.facebook.com/#!/group.php?gid=142155412465950)

So here I am, at 36 weeks. The same point that a friend lost her baby girl a year and a half ago and I find myself completely and uterly unable to keep the emotions "off". I know I will spend the rest of my life praying everyday for the health and safety of Baby B and I pray too that I will hold this child with open hands, trusting that God loves them even more than I can and that HE is LOVE. He will hold us, the Barcis, in his hands and provide for us all that we need in every moment- He's just that amazing! I am loved by The King- what a deep and abiding peace that comes with that knowledge.

35 weeks

I think I'm finally glowing! I went to the doctor last Friday for some prescription strength heartburn relief and hallelujah it works!!! I had no idea how miserable I was until it was taken care of. I feel like a new person! It has made a HUGE difference. I wish someone would have told me I could feel this good earlier:) Although I'm not sure if they would have prescribed something until the third trimester anyway...but that was seven weeks ago! Other new things this week: Hands and fingers- Baby has been head down for awhile and I consistently feel feet and knees under my ribs on the right side, with occasional hands/elbows...this week, I've started feeling "tickling" above my right hip. I think Baby's hands/arms are finally big/long/strong enough to be just as annoying as the feet now! Swelling/water retention- Monday was the first day I really noticed it and Tuesday I had to take my rings off during the day. Both Monday and Tuesday it was really hot and humid so I definitely think that had something to do with it. I haven't been as swollen Wednesday or today. Exhaustion- I've been SO tired...and not sleeping again! So frustrating! BUT I've also worked everyday last week and this week and had a busy weekend with another one this week...hopefully I can get some rest next Monday and Tuesday which I've blocked out so I can't get any jobs:) Plus I really need to get to work in Baby's room! Burping- I think this might have to do with the meds I'm on for heartburn but I've been burping like a highschool boy this week! It's kind of funny in the classroom, the kids laugh anyway. Sleepy hands- I've been waking up this week in the middle of the night and my hands have fallen asleep...not sure what that's all about?

I had my first baby shower on Saturday. My mother-in-law Susie hosted and planned it with my mom- they did such a great job! I don't really enjoy being the center of attention but they did such a good job and all the friends and family were so nice and full of love that it really wasn't too uncomfortable. Baby B has SUCH an amazing family and family of extended friends, there will be no shortage of love to go around! I feel so blessed and all the gifts were so thoughtful and will help us out so much. I think reality is starting to set in and although I've been loving on babies for as long as I can remember and I'm not worried about diapers or anything like that...I'm starting to realize what a big deal becoming a parent is! WOW! What an awesome responsibility...SO glad I've got so many people to love us:)!

34 weeks

I went "back" to work this week subbing my first day on Thursday only a half day...and then I have jobs lined up for TWO full weeks! I've never worked so much in September, not a lot of teachers need subs so early in the school year BUT I've now made some good contacts/friends and so I'm staying buiser. This means that I've been taking Pax to "daycare"- my good friend Jackie has agreed to the majority of days with his Grandma Nettie and my friend Tracy helping out too. I have a whole new respect for working moms now! Just 3 days of full-time work (and I don't even have to "parent" after 6pm!) and I'm exhausted and sneezing. I'm hoping this doesn't develop into another full blown cold. It also means I'm missing MOPS for two weeks but the paycheck at the end of October will be worth it. Ryan has been coaching and teaching for three weeks now and he's really enjoying this year! He's very optimistic that his soccer team this year is going to be awesome! We got some fabulous news this week too- Ryan's teaching partner Amy and her husband Matt are expecting their first baby too- in early March 2011. We're so excited for them...and for playdates in the summer!

Bailey has not enjoyed me going back to work because he ends up kenneled during the workday. He was definitely spoiled this summer! Another unfortunate side effect of this pregnancy is that the couch is now my bed...for two reasons. 1) I snore too loud for Ryan and he's the one who has to get up early and 2) my back hurts after spending a night in our bed. So Bailey has also been kind of thrown off because he has to wake up in the middle of the night to evenly divide his snuggle time:) He's quite protective of Pax and Baby B...tonight he curled up next to the tub while I soaked and I woke up this week to him cuddling my belly! He's going to be such a great doggie to Baby B:)

Bailey cuddling the belly!

Bailey making sure Baby B and mommy are okay in the tub.

33 weeks

33 weeks...time keeps on ticking:) My email today from whattoexpect.com said Baby B could already be 20 inches long and 5lbs...no wonder my back is killing me, my heartburn is flaming, and I'm so tired! I've been realizing lately how much I've been complaining and I'm feeling a little bit guilty about it. I so wish I was one of those women who loved every minute of being pregnant...maybe I need to focus more on the miracle that's happening inside of me and less on all the pain and discomfort that miracle is causing. (On a more pessimistic note, the thought that crossed my mind last night was the Bible says children are a blessing, yes. But wasn't Eve's punishment painful childbearing. So really, pregnancy is part of the curse and the children are the blessing?! Haha...just my pregnant theology!)

MOPS started today and I'm already loving my ORANGE group. I'm sad I have to miss next week to sub, but the paycheck is worth it. Pax loves playing with other kiddos and all the new toys...and it wears him out. He doesn't even make it home and we only live 2 miles from SPCC! There are 2 other preggos in my group, one due October 13 and the other in January. I couldn't even tell the other october mom was pregnant she looks so good! (I couldn't tell the January mom was pregnant either!)

I managed to get the trim in the baby's room painted (mostly) and hung up yesterday. Today I'm going to try to fill in the holes, touch up and paint the doorframe...but I'm leaning towards taking a nap instead! We'll see:) Only 7 more weeks (or so) to go!!

thirty- TWO weeks!

Okay...now we're talking, only 8 weeks or so to go! I'm definitely getting crabbier the more crowded it gets in my belly. I'm rarely comfortable anymore...I can't sit or stand for long and I toss and turn all night. I can't believe women do this multiple times...although I imagine after meeting Baby B I'll be ready to do it again too:) I cope by taking LOTS of bubble baths. They help me relax and ease the back pain.

This week has been pretty low-key. Ryan has been up to his classroom getting ready for the first day of school tomorrow and we enjoyed a lazy 3-day Labor Day weekend. The only thing productive we really accomplished was getting the molding cut and in place to finish off the remodel. Now we just have to paint...and get furniture! Thanks Grandpa Joe for helping!!